Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Don Gorske = Biggest Dumptruck West of the Mississippi


A special ceremony is planned Tuesday afternoon at McDonald’s in Fond du Lac for Don Gorske. That’s because, since 1972, Gorske has eaten at least two Big Macs a day, which means the 57-year-old will be eating his 25,000th Big Mac on the 39th anniversary of eating his first.
He has kept most of the boxes or receipts or has made specific notes in calendars that he’s kept.
Gorske says he probably has an obsessive-compulsive disorder but he doesn’t consider it a problem.


Okay seriously Don? Really? We all know Big Mac's are one of the most delicious foods of all time, but 2 a day for the past 39 years?? 25,000?? That's fucking dumpy! Shit, when I wake up from a night of binge drinking and find half a Big Mac on my lap, and the crushed box and wrapper on the floor of my bedroom, I immediately get the meat sweats. You know, that disgusting, greasy, sweat that emanates from your pores even after the simple activity of just standing up to take a piss? Imagine the stank of good ol' Don's clothing on a Sunday night after he eats his 14th Big Mac of the week?? I think the worst part about Don is that he doesn't consider his OCD a problem. New flash Don: you have fucking issues! Stamp collecting...okay, that's fine...but Big Mac box and receipt collecting? That's just fucking weird. I bet the low lifes that work at McDonald's even look at you funny. If you're going to keep going to Mickey D's twice a day, you better start loading up on the apple dippers, because you are a loud startle away from a massive heart attack.

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