Thursday, May 19, 2011

Fantasy Sports: A Case Study



Man Hub has figured out why every man is enthralled with fantasy sports. Why every Monday morning, whether it be in the classroom, at work, or on the phone, men must discuss their fantasy football team's performance to any willing participant. A typical monday morning conversation could go something like this:
"Fuck my life, I started Carson Palmer over Josh Freeman, Carson threw 4 INTs, had 220 yards and a touchdown. I am SO fucked! I knew I should have started Freeman, and I swear, I had him starting, but then I backed out at the last second and switched."
Yeah yeah we've all heard that story a million times, but this isn't the time to bitch about sucky fantasy players. No, this is the time to truly understand why men are obsessed by this simple, yet captivating "sport."
The answer lies in the essence of fantasy sports: the draft. A fantasy draft is something that men look forward to from the time they make their last selection and take a team defense or a kicker. At Man Hub, we believe we've found the answer as to why men love the draft, and that is because being in charge of your team's draft is like being the GM of a professional sport team.
The GM is the most coveted man job in the entire world. I'm not making this up, it's science people. Right down to the very core, the GM position is the ultimate man job. Why? Well for starters, you're getting paid (quite handsomely) to spend other people's money to buy players that you choose to put together your very own team. The GM is in charge of the team, it is essentially "his" team. Survey any random group of 100 men, and I guarantee 90% say their dream job is to run their own sporting franchise. GM's get to watch what they've created. Suddenly they are not just a casual fan of a team, but in fact, the most die hard fan in the world. The type of fan who's personal life is severely affected by the outcome of his team's games. They experience the ultimate highs and the ultimate lows. Much like the Joe Shmoe who comes into the office on Monday morning looking physically, mentally, and emotionally drained after his fantasy team lost by a 1/2 point to the office asshole. We all know Joe was tracking his players on his iPhone fantasy sports app, while clicking through the channels, hopelessly praying that Donovan McNabb would somehow not get benched for the entire second half. Celebrating when Adrian Peterson scored a touchdown in the final minute, but depressed knowing that he came up 2 yards short of getting the 100 yard bonus point. The moment in time when Joe realized he had lost to the office asshole, his life for the next week, was turned upside down, similar to the agony of defeat for the GM of the Detroit Lions.
So there you have it men, we love fantasy sports because it gives US, the common man, an opportunity to have the best job in the entire world, to be a general manager.

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