Mandom thought of the day

Does grunting increase strength? Just wondering

Question Regarding Kris Humphies

There are many perks to being a profession athlete. You have fame, you have fortune, and you get to play the game that you love for a living. There is also a 75% chance that you will eventually sleep with Kim Kardashian. Her newest man is New Jersey Nets forward Kris Humphries. The two have been dating now for a decent period of time, I think. Which brings me to the issue at hand. Does Kim Kardashian's sex tape bother him? And what kind of man does this make him?

Let's be honest, there is no way that Humphries has not seen Kim Kardashian and Ray-J bumping uglies for the video camera. Everyone with a penis and the internet has seen it. It has to bother him right? I mean obviously he chose to date her so it can't bother him too much, but opposing NBA players must bring the tape up to him on a daily basis. You think Joakim Noah isn't trying to get in his head from the minute the game starts? Humphries goes to the free throw line and hears, "So Kris, does Kim always keep her bra on during sex?" Airball. Humphries is guarding Noah in the paint, "So Kris, has Kim ever accidentally put her sex tape on when she was trying to show you a home video of Khloe in a meatball eating contest?" Dunk for Noah. Or just flat out, "Hey Kris, can I borrow some of your hand cream, I am going to use it when I watch your girlfriends sex tape tonight after the game." Bulls win, Noah goes for 20 and 15, while Humphries gets ejected for elbowing him in the head. It would be natural for this to get under Humphries' skin, but I don't really think that it does. That makes him a pretty manly man if you ask me.

Here are a couple of reasons why Kris probably doesn't care. Reason 1. Reason 2.

Projecting the Knicks’ First Round Pick

In the aftermath of the least exciting NBA lottery of all time, one in which a handicapped 14 year old boy stole the show, Man Hub would like to present the case for who the New York Knicks should select with the 17^th pick in the 2011 NBA Draft. The draft is about a month or so away, so here is a look into 2 players who are currently on the Knicks’ radar. However, don’t be surprised if they end up drafting some 6’11” Frenchman who will end up with Vince Carter’s balls in his face and never even catch a glimpse of the World’s Most Famous Arena.

Jimmer Fredette – 6’2” PG - BYU: Jimmer was the 2010-2011 NCAA division 1 player of the year. He led the nation in scoring, and carried BYU into the sweet 16 of the NCAA tournament. When Jimmer was on, he was lights out. The dude could score from 35 feet away, no problem. And for a white boy, he has a pretty diverse set of basketball moves. He’s not afraid to drive to the hoop, and can score at will. His downfall is defense. With all that energy he expends dropping 30 a game, Jimmer is left utterly useless on the defensive end. The dude can’t guard a barn. If I got the ball first in a game of one-on-one, I’d probably beat little Jimmer. On paper, this pick makes perfect sense for the Knicks. They run an offense-first, defense-seventh, type of game. They’d gladly give up 120 points to the Raptors, knowing damn well that they can throw up a buck thirty no big deal. The thing is, I actually don’t see Jimmer fitting in well with the Knicks. Chauncey is their man at the point, and Jimmer is too small to play shooting guard. Plus, there aren’t enough shots to go around, with Stat and Melo averaging 25 PPG, to quench Jimmer’s insatiable thirst for scoring. If Jimmer’s still on the board at 17, we say: PASS!

Man Hub’s NBA comparison = Glorified JJ Reddick

Kenneth Faried – 6’8” F – Morehead St.: Do you remember Louisville’s first round game in the NCAA tournament? I do. Let’s not even call this a game. It was an ass-fucking of epic proportions at the hands of 13-seeded Morehead State. I distinctly recall this guy Kenneth Faried, looking like Lil’ Wayne on steroids, just straight beasting the offensive and defensive glass, imposing his manhood on a more talented, but less hungry Louisville team. Faried was a force to be reckoned with against a top talent program like Louisville. He played outstanding defense, hustled, blocked shots, rebounded, and dunked his way into the 2^nd round of the tournament. At that point, I was drawn to him. I thought to myself, wow, the Knicks could really use someone with such heart. Sorry Ronny Turiaf, but you don’t have half the heart of Kenneth Faried (pun intended). The Knicks DESPERATELY need a player who doesn’t mind getting a little dirty, someone who enjoys boxing out, playing defense, and hustling on every single possession. If Faried is on the board at 17, we say: DRAFT

Man Hub’s NBA comparison = A less annoying Joakim Noah

Mavs vs Thunder Game 2

There is really no reason to write a full recap of this game. A few things of importance happened, but if you watched this game last night you witnessed one of the manliest dunks of all time. Just look at that picture for a minute. Brendon Haywood is 7 feet tall. Kevin Durant is so high in the air that Haywood might as well be checking his belly button for lint instead of trying to stop this dunk. Durant is eye level with the rim. Just absolutely posterizing poor Haywood. And as Jeff Van Gundy and Mark Jackson said last night, Durant should have been able to say whatever he wanted and the refs should have just turned the other way and not given Durant a technical foul. "Hey Brendon, I am going to have sex with every member of your family tonight and make you watch while you cry in the corner." Perfectly acceptable. Haywood would feel less violated if that actually happened than he did after he got his man card revoked on national televison. He is going to have nightmares of giant Durantulas spinning webs around him, paralyzing him, and throwing down right in his eye. Poor guy.

Anyway, the Thunder won, and don't think for a second it had nothing to do with Russell Westbrook being on the bench for the entire fourth quarter. Yes he was an All-Star, and he was better with shot selection last night, but if he was in during the fourth quarter he would have done what he always does. Run down the clock and force bad shots with only a couple of seconds left on the shot clock. On a more serious note, James Harden's beard is getting pretty serious. Why is he not on Brian Wilson's level yet? Just because Wilson is a certified nut job shouldn't affect beard status. It might not be as large yet, but it is just perfectly kempt. It is time Harden's beard got some love. I got your back James.

Oh and Dirk missed a free throw and the entire state of Dallas broke the world record for most people gasping in disbelief at the same time

The Most Manly Movie Scene of All Time

There have been plenty of extremely manly movies scenes over the years. The 3some scene in Wild Things is quite possibly the hottest scene of any movie, but is it the manliest? Any time Clint Eastwood talks, he emanates man, but no single scene is more manly than the next.  The scene that comes to my mind probably won't come to yours, as this movie was the 2nd lowest grossing film of 2008, but let me tell you, it is a classic. If you have watched MacGruber, well then bless you, I guarantee you had a great experience. If you haven't, I suggest you go to target, look in the "Movies under $5" section, and pop it in your DVD player ASAP, because there is nothing more manly than the movie scene listed above.

A little background: MacGruber is a former Navy Seal, Army Ranger, and Green Beret. He served 6 tours in Desert Storm, 4 in Bosnia, 3 in Angola, Somalia, Mozambique, Nicaragua, and Sierra Leone. He is the recipient of 16 purple hearts, 3 Congressional Medals of Honor, 7 Presidential Medals of Bravery, and was the starting tight end for the University of Texas El Paso. Impressive right?

Even more impressive is that he stole his best friend's (Dieter Von Cunth) fiance from him, married her, she died, and he started banging her best friend (see above). Spoiler alert: he ends up killing his now arch enemy Dieter Von Cunth, but the manliest move of all time can be seen in the video above. MacGruber had just been shot, and as Vicki (MacGruber's deceased wife's best friend) is tending to his wounds, she proclaims her love for MacGruber. As they are about to kiss, she whispers "I'm a virgin." At this point, MacGruber utters the single 3 most ballsy man words of all time..."Not for long." It really doesn't get much more manly than taking the virginity of your ex-wife's best friend.

So man up men, and try thinking of a manlier movie scene. I challenge you to prove this post wrong.